Discipline
Discipline is a very hard thing to achieve. Lot harder when you are independent and free, not that I don't want to be independent and free. But when there is no-one around to push you, when there is nothing at stake, not that I want anything to be at stake, it becomes tough. When you feel there is nothing to prove, or sometimes nothing I can prove, it's pretty difficult. Motivation, whether internal or external, is I believe very important to push you forward, to push you to be disciplined. Or is it the other way around? Is the disciplined one who is the most motivated to make changes, either to himself, or the world around him, or world farther from him/her? But either way, the disciplined one is the one who can keep going, no matter the lack of motivation. Is that right?
And where do you get this motivation? What is its origin? How does it get born within a person? Or is a person born with it? Why do I find it hard to find it when others can find it so easily? Or maybe, they don't, but it just looks so to me. But how is a disciplined, a motivated person born? Is he or she born from the ashes of his/her circumstances-the need to fight for survival? Or is it born from the love of humanity, the love of God? What if you don't love humanity, what if you don't love God, not overlooking the fact that they can be exclusive to each other? What if you never had the need to fight to survive? What if you don't have the need to fight to survive? What if you don't understand what this fight is, even though you may be in that very fight? What if you don't understand the gravity of it? Then where do you find this discipline, this drive, this rigor? How do you set yourself in motion?
I don't know what category I fall into, what mould I fit into. But they say, you have to fight this urge of distraction, of impulse, until discipline becomes your habit, it becomes you. But can it be done? What if I die trying? What if I become old trying? What if it can never become a part of me? Then is my life undone? Is my life unfulfilled? Will this unhappiness always be a part of me? Not being able to tame myself to what I want to be, to do what I want to do, to achieve what I want to achieve. Will this be always the case, till the entirety of my eternity?
And where do you get this motivation? What is its origin? How does it get born within a person? Or is a person born with it? Why do I find it hard to find it when others can find it so easily? Or maybe, they don't, but it just looks so to me. But how is a disciplined, a motivated person born? Is he or she born from the ashes of his/her circumstances-the need to fight for survival? Or is it born from the love of humanity, the love of God? What if you don't love humanity, what if you don't love God, not overlooking the fact that they can be exclusive to each other? What if you never had the need to fight to survive? What if you don't have the need to fight to survive? What if you don't understand what this fight is, even though you may be in that very fight? What if you don't understand the gravity of it? Then where do you find this discipline, this drive, this rigor? How do you set yourself in motion?
I don't know what category I fall into, what mould I fit into. But they say, you have to fight this urge of distraction, of impulse, until discipline becomes your habit, it becomes you. But can it be done? What if I die trying? What if I become old trying? What if it can never become a part of me? Then is my life undone? Is my life unfulfilled? Will this unhappiness always be a part of me? Not being able to tame myself to what I want to be, to do what I want to do, to achieve what I want to achieve. Will this be always the case, till the entirety of my eternity?
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